So I haven't posted in over two months, but in my defense I haven't really run much up until recently, and by virtue of this being a running blog, if I don't run what the hell am i going to post about? Not running? How many posts until this becomes a not running blog? And at that point who would be the audience? Not runners? How would they even find it? It would be like discovering Mormonism by doing a search for "not sex".
I'm using a lot of question marks.
Anyway, I just ran on a treadmill because that misery seemed slightly more tolerable than venturing into the negative 2 windchill of the great white north. Global warming my ass. It's so fricken cold I'm scared to walk home from work because I might get beat up by a penguin. Or a bum who wants to carve me open and sleep in my carcass like Luke does in the star wars movie - Bear Gylies might have done it with a camel too. It would have to be a really small bum. Like a midget bum. I've never seen a midget bum.
Which leads me to a good point. There's like 50,000 homeless people in new york city and not a single one is a midget. How is that possible? You would think that being a midget would be a major step towards alcoholism and alcoholism is a major step towards homelessness. So where are all the midget bums damnit?
Anyway, focus, treadmill...
Holy shit man! Two miles on that thing were like the most difficult two miles I've ever done in my life. I've limped two miles over hilly terrain with a shattered ankle and that was like a mojito in the spring compared to what I just endured. I mean the options were literally freeze to death and have a midget bum carve me open and take a nap inside my gut, or run on the treadmill so it was an easy choice, but why would anyone purposely do that to themselves given the option? I almost want to use a sex with a condom analogy but it's more like sex with a cardboard box over your junk.
So in conclusion I'm going to go home and take a nap so I can run with the Niketown run Club in the morning but here's hoping I don't run into any penguin riding midget bums on the way home.