Race Report: Brooklyn Half Marathon

A few days late but no one reads this blog so it’s not a big deal.

Anyway, Brooklyn Half Marathon 2009 - well, to quote Dickens, “It was the best of times it was the worst of times.” Which is a classy way to say that I didn’t quite hit my goal. I was close – in fact I was there – close enough to smell the sweet perfume of victory. Feel it’s pungent aroma sting my nostrils.

But alas. After averaging 6:14s through at least mile 10 and just slightly slower through 11, the sweater unraveled leaving me naked and alone. Here is a mile by mile account of the carnage.

Mile 1
GAME PLAN: Start conservative. Resist the urge to weave. Understand it will be a little slower but you’ll make that up fast.
RESULT: 6:15
WHY?: When the gun went off I felt good - maybe even great. I wasn’t nervous, anxious, worried, or any of the kinds of emotions that leads man to being anything less than totally awesome. I was a machine. A running machine. And someone had turned this mean motor scooter on to kick ass. So despite the fact that I was already behind thousands of runners who were seemingly out to moozy through the park at 11 minute pace just enjoying the fine May day laid ahead of us, I kept telling myself not to run like an idiot. Be conservative. Don’t weave in and out. Pick a line, find your pace, and stick with it. All rational thoughts and ideas, unfortunately, as we’d soon learn, when it comes to racing Paul Leone is not a very rational man. Paul Leone is in fact a moron. So when put in a situation when he’s behind thousands of runners who are slow, and annoying, and getting in Paul Leone’s way, Paul Leone’s reaction is to get past them. This is dumb. Paul Leone is dumb. But until I hit my watch for the first split I didn’t realize how dumb. In fact I still assumed my time would reflect the fact that I had held back and was boxed out a few times but hadn’t gone too crazy. I was incorrect with that assumption. 6:15. Shit.

Mile 2
GAME PLAN: Fall into 6:20 pace. Accept the five banked seconds and ignore the fact that I felt like a rocket with too much fuel to burn.
RESULT: 6:08
WHY?: I actually fell into pace at this point. I felt good and so I went with it. I couldn’t really count the first mile when it came to establishing what a 6:20 felt like so I locked into what I thought was a 6:20. I actually felt like I was holding back at this point and was worried I was going to split out high. I was passing a lot of people but there was no way of telling what they were doing so I just went with it. When I checked the split and it read 6:08 I actually said, “Oh shit!” outloud.

Mile 3
GAME PLAN: I wasn’t sure what to do at this point. Part of me was scared to back off because I felt really comfortable and I was starting to do math. Get out of the Park with some time banked at I can coast. But the more rational side wanted to back off.
RESULT: 6:08
WHY?: This was a mathamatical error more than anything. I hit the split when I saw the mile marker for mile 6 which was for the second loop. I looked down and it was at 4:11 and it took a second but I realized the mistake. So now my timing is all thrown off and when I finally found the four mile marker and hit I couldn’t remember the first split to do the math. I had no idea if I’d speed up or backed off.

Mile 4
GAME PLAN: Go with it. You feel great. You’re downhill. What could go wrong now?
RESULT: 5:57
WHY? Oh shit. That was bad.

Mile 5
GAME PLAN: Danger Will Rodgers. BACK OFF THE GAS.
RESULT: 6:34
WHY?: In retrospect this was my most logical mile. I told myself to back off, I backed off. There was some uphill that helped this out, but it was a very conscious effort to slow down. Unfortunately I backed off too much and the +14 made me panic a little. I’d built up a cushion and eroded it with a single slow split. In my mind I was back to even. But that’s fine because I’m going to neg split the race anyway. Right?

Mile 6
GAME PLAN: Find 6:20.
RESULT: 6:20
WHY?: Yay! It took 6 miles but I found pace.

Mile 7
GAME PLAN: I’m past half way, I’m heading downhill, the hard part is behind me, I’m about to hit the “easiest” part of the course, I feel great, I’m cruising.
RESULT: 5:49
WHY?: Why is a great question. I have no response to that. Why? I just felt really good. I was totally on cruise control. I think I had a few good songs on the playlist? Whatever. Dumb.

Mile 8
GAME PLAN: Take my gel, slow down, use the banked seconds and just cruise in with 6:30s. At this point I was really thinking I had this in the bag. I’d done it. Dumb.
RESULT: 6:08
WHY?: There 6:08s are pretty annoying in retrospect. I think in a perfect world that is my half pace because when all is said and done that’s what I kept falling into. But when I hit it this time I started to freak and do math really quick. What did I have banked? How slow could I go? I was going to fall apart wasn’t I? Where are the freakin water tables?

Mile 9
GAME PLAN: Slow down.
Result: 6:24
WHY?: I had a ton of time to give, I need to slow down. I just need to cruise in. I’m not going 1:21 so don’t try. I don’t need 1:21, I need 1:23. Just slow down. Where’s the next water stop?

Mile 10
GAME PLAN: Just keep doing what you just did. That was perfect but go slower.
RESULT: 6:34
WHY?: I could feel that I was starting to slip a little but this mile still felt strong. 6:34 was perfect. I can even back off a little more maybe?

Mile 11
GAME PLAN: Oh shit I’m starting to fall apart. Hold it together. 6:40s will get you home. Hell, you might even be able to get by with a little slower.
RESULT: 7:04
WHY?: It was about half way through this mile that I realized I was fucked. I was hoping something would kick in but I was fading faster than a fat chick’s resolve in Crumbs Bakery. Still had +22 seconds going into mile 12.

Mile 12:
GAME PLAN: Hold on for dear life.
RESULT: 8:21
It was over at this point. I knew it. I was completely out of gas at this point and getting passed like a moped on I95. I kept thinking that I just wasn’t mentally strong enough and I should be able to will two miles but there was no giddy up. I tried to surge but there was just nothing in the tank. I looked at my watch and it said I’d only been running the mile for 1:23 – how is that even possible. I ran for a few more minutes and looked again and it was only 1:53. Did I accidently hit the split? What’s going on? How is it possible this mile is so fricken long? Why is god doing this to me? This was no longer a race so much as a test of will. I would finish this race. I would not walk. I would not stop. I just needed to limp in and take solace in that fact.

Mile 13.1
GAME PLAN: Will this race ever end? Seriously? Where is the fucking finish? How is it possible that it’s taking that long to get there?
RESULT: 13 - 8:24, .1 - :49
WHY?: Plan and simple I ran out of gas. I’ve never had it happen because it was my second half and the first time my training ran out before my fuel. This time it was 100% the fact that I wasn’t fueled properly. I should have taken a gel before the race, one at 5 and one at 8. But by the time I crossed the line I could barely walk. It literally took 12 minutes to get from the finish to the post race, and I was asked twice if I was OK. Once I got some Gatorade and an apple I was right as rain, but the lack during the race killed me.

Interwebs Chatter About the BK Half

Great elevation map. This thins is huge. Thanks to Pam and RunDangerously for this gem.
http://rundangerously.blogspot.com/2009/05/quick-look-the-reversed-2009-brooklyn.html
Map
http://www.mapmyrun.com/view_route?r=380acd05616136c6dfc64ff38dc1c9a5&show_elevation_panel=1&rs=undefined

Kinda scary but I know the feeling.
http://runningdowndreams.wordpress.com/2009/05/27/do-you-know-your-enemy/

What th Hell's a Runner's High?

I've obviously heard the term "runner's high" half a zillion times over the years, but being that I get both words separately I've never spent too much time thinking about them together.

Runner's High - n. A state of euphoria achieved through running

I was really locked into my run today and even afterward I was still buzzing from my runner's high.

Yeah, I get that, but I've never actually used the term to describe - well, anything. I've never even really thought about it. It seems like a Mickey Mouse packaging of something that you don't really talk about and can't explain. But over the last two days I've been asked about it twice. The first time I actually thought the question was semi-moronic mostly because it was followed by a brief explanation of the drugs the person uses and how they get high. So all in all that was just bizarre. But yesterday it was asked again - and though I looked at the person with the same confused "huh?" it dawned on me that as difficult as it is for a runner to define or describe what a runner's high is, to the non-runner the concept is completely inconceivable.

But it got me thinking: what the fuck is a runner's high?

I've always equated running with competition - either against other people or myself. So for me the most euphoric running experiences have been winning races, setting PRs, or the times when I've felt like crap but gutted out a race despite the fact that ever ember of my being was totally ready to throw in the chips. The first district championship I won in high school I was about three hundred yards behind the leader with a mile to go, and all I was thinking about was holding off the guy behind me so I could get second. But I came around a corner at mile two and one of the coaches for another team spotted me and said, "If you're going to do it you've got to do it now." For whatever reason that made it click, and I just started reeling the leader in. Coming down the last 400 meter straightaway into the finish the leader was still like 100 meters off, but I was totally locked in at this point and when I passed him with maybe 20 feet to go I remember everything seeming silent and in slow motion. It might have been the severe oxygen debt and complete exhaustion, but I was completely zoned in.

For me that's what a runner's high has always been about - that crushing of self doubt as you push yourself past physical limits towards victory. But that's such a short sighted view of the concept. 99% of runners will never get the feeling of winning a race - hell, I'll probably never get the feeling of winning anything but maybe a beer mile ever again.

I think the runner's high is more than that. Over the last couple months I've had a few runs where I've felt great, where I've been locked in, and where running fast has just felt effortless. Times where I've looked at my splits and realized I was effortlessly turning sub six miles and finding it harder to hold back then keep up. It's almost like going downhill on roller skates - you're just getting pulled forward by this magical running force. I guess this is really the true meaning of the runner's high and I guess what keeps people coming back. The chance to lock into that magical land of light legs and fast feet.

With just a few days before BK that's all I'm hoping for on Saturday. I just want to feel like I'm running downhill the whole time. Like there's a tractor beam at the finish pulling me home. I lock into that and the biggest question won't be whether or not I break 1:23 but by how much.

Track Workouts: The Great Equalizer

Ten days left before the Brooklyn half and I'm willing to pull out all the stops to be ready to rock on game day. Whatever it takes. The way I see it, not running sub 1:23 would be be upsetting, but running something like 1:23:07 would pretty much be devastating. Like painting my walls black and sitting in my room listening to Intermezzo from Cavalleria Rusticana by Mascagni over and over again - sadly this wouldn't be the first time it's happened, and I don't feel like spending my weekend eating a tube of cookie dough and crying. So with every run, every meal, every sober minute, it's because I don't want to look at those seven seconds at the end of the 1:23 and think about what if.

With that in mind I turned to the advice of my personal running guru, the incomparable Coach Jonathan Cane of City Coach to see what I could do over the next few days to be tippity tip top on the 30th. He thought that I still had time for some speed, some hills, and some distance before getting rested and ready, and I believe the man. So tonight I headed over to the East 6th Street track to turn left a few times.

Results? I guess those are to be seen, but track workouts hurt. I've done maybe three since I stopped running track in college and I always forget about the painful part. Plus I was already a little sore from playing kickball yesterday (which is sad on multiple levels), so I wasn't really feeling the fast, but I did 1 x 1200 at 3K pace, 6 X 400 at 5K pace, and another 1200 at 5K pace. I did the first 1200 at 4:06, then split the 400s at 1:18, 1:18, 1:14, 1:17, 1:20, and 1:03. Yeah, 1:03. I felt like the other five were relatively easy and I wanted to see if I could go under 1 minute - which I've still yet to do since saying that it was something I wanted to do.

The result of that was a final 1200 that felt like I was carrying a piano up a flight of stairs while monkeys and old people hurled feces at me. First lap wasn't pretty at 1:31. But just before I'm about to call it a night Don't Slow Down by Matt and Kim came on the iPod and considering it a sign from the mighty mighty running gods I thought about what I wrote earlier - every lap counts right now, and if I can't dig down deep on the last 800 of a workout how will I do it if I need to on race day?

So I did the last two laps in 1:27 and 1:25. Still slower than I would have liked but there are few feelings better then telling the voice that wants you to quit to shut the fuck up. Thank you Matt, thank you Kim, and thank you running gods.

A Runner’s Rebuttal to the Athlete Stereotype

I wrote this either last week or a couple weeks ago as part of a pitch for a high School running program. It didn't get used but I thought it was pretty awesome so I wanted to post it. This is basically a High School runner's snide retort to the football/baseball/basketball star. Kind of a middle fingered eye roll to what the stereotype jock is through the eyes of a kid that's dominating his sport but getting no love. High School runners past and present should get it - and for those who don't I think the HS Runner has a middle finger left for you. Enjoy.

...

Runners are Rock Stars. I’m a Rock Star. Yeah, I might not get the glitz and glamour, the pep rallies and pom poms, but when I do what I do I do what I do well. I’ve got style that goes for days. Mad skills. I make it look good. You see me as that crazy runner kid doing laps around your practice, and joke that my sport is your punishment, but you’re only half right – whether you’re running voluntarily or not MY sport is punishment. Running hurts. If it doesn’t hurt you’re not doing it right. And by the way, you’re right, I am crazy. We all are. That’s what keeps us going.

And we’re not stopping. In the snow, in the rain, in the heat, in the dark, through mud, through muck, through dust, through dirt, in woods, in traffic, around traffic, past traffic, over traffic - whatever you want to throw at me I’m charging through it.

I’m not stopping. There are no rain delays in my sport. There are no time outs, stoppages of play, seventh inning stretches, half times, free throws, automatic bases, lay ups, or empty netters. All we’ve got is a clock and it keeps going until I cross the line. So I don’t stop until I’m past it. That’s what’s different about us, but it’s not the only thing big boy.

I’m also tougher than you. You don’t believe me? Well I’ve got a pair of Pegs and an interval workout that thinks differently. You might think you can do what I do but you’re wrong. If you think otherwise then prove it. And when you’re huffing and puffing after the first 1000 meters with your hands on your knees wondering why I’m making it look so easy I want you to remember this – I am - but it’s not. The path from there to here was paved with pain.

We love the pain. That’s what keeps us coming back. While you’re hiding behind your shoulder pads, hip guards, facemask, and helmet, I’m staring agony in the face, gritting my teeth, and telling pain to bring it. My off days hurt more than your entire season.
I’m hardcore like that.

Yeah, you heard me. I’m brutal in ways you couldn’t understand.

Maybe you can break your opponents will with a late inning single? A jumper at the buzzer? A hail mary as the clock expires? Light weight. Imagine sitting on the leader’s shoulder for three miles - so close he hear your heart beating in his ear. Then just when he can feel the tape about to hit his chest, you drop the hammer so hard he doesn’t even bother. He’s done. That’s the kind of ruthlessness that I’m bringing.

So when you see my boys from Nike rolling up, bringing something like you’ve never seen and you’re asking yourself why a bunch of crazy runners are getting the red carpet rolled out for them? Remember what I said – We’re getting treated like Rock Stars because that’s what we are, and this is how we roll.

Running w/ Music

I know many runners' eschew (vocab win) the very idea of running with music as if even condoning it would instantly turn them into some kind of Central Park lower loop loser that that steps off the treadmill a half a dozen times a year when the weather is next to perfect or when they chose to plod along in a vanity race*.

*Vanity race is this concept I've noticed where people do races not to do well, or feel good, or so they can train for something, but simply because they want to be able to talk about the race they're doing.

Fact is living in NYC music is a major part of my life. I wake up and listen to my morning playlist, my iPod is on the second I leave the door, I get to work and I'm plugged into Pandora all day, I leave and I'm back to my iPod. It's like my life has a soundtrack. Plus it makes it easier to ignore annoying homeless people, keeps tourists at bay, makes the L train tolerable, and allows me to avoid doing stuff like reading. Ew. On the days where my battery is dead a small part of me dies as well. So why would I turn the volume down when I'm doing the one thing most befitting of musical accompaniment? BTW that question was rhetorical.

Anyway, lately my iPod has been F-ed and I had to reload all my music - which forced me to think of my top 10 running songs. Here they are in no particular order.

Ize of the World, The Strokes
If talked about this song here before and how I've gone runs listening to it over and over on repeat. Hood to Coast last year I cooked my second leg at 5am throwing down 5:56s listening to this despite the fact I had zero business being under 6 minute pace at that point. I love the Strokes in general but the reason this song is particularly striking is because it's consistently upbeat but when the corus starts pumping I just want to drop the hammer. Goners.


Surf Wax America, Weezer
I love me some Weezer but this song wouldn't make my Weezer top 10, maybe not to 20. For whatever reason I have a distinct memory of running to this song on a Walkman when I was like 13. Feeding the thirteen year old within is important - unless it's within your basement and you're holding it captive. Let's move to the song.


Killing in the Name Of, Rage Against the Machine
Some songs are happy, some songs are sad, some songs make you want to fight a clown. This song is the later. I've listened to this before every race I've run since my sophomore year in high school. I'll be racing at 90 and when they start screaming profanity I'll be ready to split 5:30s.


William Tell Overture, Rossini &
I'm putting these together because they're kind of odd and because I could make just a classical list. But just listen to it. It's so runnery. It takes you on this journey from the slow start, through this crazy pumping section of awesome, it's like a run itself. I dunno, it just works. I actually run to a lot of classical, it's very visceral pure, emotional kind of stuff to run to. Plus it's long so you don't have to worry about changing tracks. I'll spare you on the whole thing and just post the best parts.



And just for good measure I'm including one of the best classical power songs ever. I dare you to try to run slowly like this. You'd probably get committed. This song begs for speed - kind of like my junky ex roommate but in a much more productive way.



Yeah Yeah, Matt & Kim
I could probably add a few more Matt & Kim songs. They're upbeat, peppy, real runnery. Their new album has a song on it called Don't Slow Down that makes me not really want to slow down. But this song is pretty much the perfect pick me up during a run. And the video is happy.


Lazy Eye, Silversun Pickups
Long and short of it - I like when he screams and I run fast. Done.


Everywhere You Turn, Longwave
This was my Powersong almost three years ago but it still gets me going.

Longwave - Everywhere You Turn (Official Music Video) - Watch the best video clips here

Right About Me, Vroom & Every Time I Look For You, Blink 182
This is crazy old skool but this is what was on my mp3 player (not even iPod) when I was still in college. It's punk, and if you can't run to punk what can you run to?





Pulp Song, Stellastarr*
Stellstarr is one of those strange bands that was nothing, then they were like the big next thing for a heartbeat, then they disappeared. I've had this song on my running playlist for like 7 years at this point. I've probably logged 100 miles to just this song.


Time Trap, Built to Spill
There's something amazing about how this song builds up in the beginning, so you just keep getting progressively faster then you just kind of break through. I often find myself unnecessarily fist pumping to this song during the run. Then again, while listening I recognized the fist pumping is actually completely necessary.

Going Long

Part of my super duper macho plan to go sub 1:23 in the BK next month involves kicking ass and taking names - actually that's like the entire plan. Typically with a plan as dynamic as this I just go about my typical routine of being awesome and such, and don't really put in the work to actually get things done. This time is going to be a little different. I'm actually going to do stuff and stuff. So with that in mind I decided to do 15 on Saturday. I didn't quite get there, and coming out of the Park I was pretty much donezo, but got some water and some Gatorade and managed to make it home without death.

Here's the first part of the run:


Then Nike+ got sweat in it and stopped working so I had to start a new run for the last 3+. I kept telling myself that I was dropping hammers, but when I actually looked at the time it appears no hammers were dropped at all.